In correlation with my title and a lack of anything else to do this week, we will be examining reasons to hate each coach in the SEC. Today, we will be checking out our eastern rivals. Soon, we'll work on the more pertinent west. Later in the football season, I will be breaking down every team that the Rebels will play, and offer 12 good reasons to hate each of them. So, here we go!
1. Derek Dooley, University of Tennessee: A lawyer and son of SEC coaching legend Vince Dooley, Coach Dooley has burst stumbled onto the scene as a replacement to the loose-lipped, easy-to-hate, Lane Kiffin. While he hasn't been around for very long, he isn't the newest coach in the SEC, and in true political distaste, Coach Dooley is making enemies with America.
In this screenshot taken from today's media day, Dooley has clearly snubbed the American flag lapel pin and replaced it with an orange "T", which I can only assume stands for Terrorist. If you see someone wearing one of those camouflage hats with orange "T", take away their guns (They will have guns).
2. Urban Meyer, University of Florida:
The man with two National Championship rings (and an arguably deserved one from his time at Utah) is known for his Brett Favre-ian way of leaving the game and coming right back, but also...his two National Championship rings. Seriously, though Urban, you aren't Michael Jordan. Pick retirement and stick with it.
3. Joker Phillips, University of Kentucky:
A brand new leader after long-time sub-.500 Rich Brooks retired, Joker noted at Media Days that he is the only coach in the SEC that is undefeated. Fair is fair.
He is very likely cheating.
Oh wait, that's John Calipari. I confused him with a sport that matters there. Give me a break, it's hard to hate on the fellow.
4. Steve Spurrier, University of South Carolina: Recently, Spurrier has put the "old" in "Old Ball Coach." Every time you watch the guy's press conferences or sideline actions you can just see it in his eyes: "Man, I wish I were at Augusta right now." Let's compare images and see what's happier:
At least he's smiling, but he should fix that backswing. He should see Dr. Lou about the whole mess.
5. Mark Richt, University of Georgia: Mark Richt has established himself as a winner. 90 and 27 in his time at UGA, Richt is also the longest tenured coach at any single school in the SEC. That said, his job is in jeopardy after a dismal showing last season (at least in UGA terms). This guy sent his punter for Media Days to speak for the team. Your job might be on the hot seat if your premiere player is the punter. In his defense, Drew Butler WON the Ray Guy award. In our defense, Drew Butler was Georgia's best defense last year.
6. Robbie Caldwell, Vanderbilt University: Poor fellow is an Offensive Line coach at Vanderbilt. Now, he's an SEC head coach of a team that won 2 games last season. He deserves sympathy, not hate.
Hope you enjoyed a little taste of what is to come. Until next time, keep drinkin' that haterade.
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