In correlation with my title and a lack of anything else to do this week, we will be examining reasons to hate each coach in the SEC. After a successful run in the east, we will now focus on some teams that hit close to home. The west. Later in the football season, I will be breaking down every team that the Rebels will play, and offer 12 good reasons to hate each of them. So, here we go!
1. Nick Saban, University of Alabama: Remember the good ol' days when this guy was dealing with Ricky Williams' problems? Oh, how we yearn for the hilarity of Saban's yesteryears...In Coach Saban's first year for the Crimson Tide, he lost to such teams as the Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks, but still managed to find time to screw over the Rebels. Since that season ended, Alabama's team has only lost 2 games. There is undoubtedly a correlation between his arrival and his recently acquired national title. But we've really got to wonder the same thing that he's likely thinking late at night. Was it worth selling his soul to the devil? I guess we'll never know. But I think it's no coincidence that at media days he was looking a little more...toasty.
2. Gene Chizik, Auburn University: Chizik had a year that could have been better, and could have been worse. He had a great recruiting class, but he hasn't sold every Auburn fan on his expertise. This could be a big year for him. He is a proven winner and a man of great coaching experience, having gone 5-19 in his time at Iowa State. He proved he could win...5 times. But, last year, he pulled out 8 wins at Auburn, which seems really impressive that he almost tripled his wins in only one season. Looking for people that aren't impressed with The Chiz? Look no further than the AU fans that met Jay Jacobs at the airport last year. With friends like these...
3. Leslie Miles, Louisiana State University: I was going to write a really long synopsis about Miles' past season, his complete inability to make seemingly simple calls during gameplay, and his likely position in the hot-seat if he doesn't show up this season, but...I ran out of time.
4. Bobby Petrino, University of Arkansas: Petrino is a Razorback's dream. A pass-happy fellow, with the best quarterback in the league, Petrino will finally have a chance to prove his worth in the coming year. That is...if he doesn't leave first.
5. Dan Mullen, Mississippi State University: Mullen has claimed after his Egg Bowl win that "there is certainly one program in this state that is on the rise." Of course, he forgot to mention which one. Mullen turned a 4-8 team into a 5-7 team, and everyone is going CRAZY for him. I suppose we will see what happens in the coming year, but for anyone who's seen Real World: New Orleans, I don't think he needs to be "spreading the fun" around Starkville.
6. Houston Nutt, University of Mississippi: Nobody makes fun of Houston Nutt. I don't make the rules.
Of course, I'm kidding. He runs the ball up the middle too much, bites his nails, texts television reporters, says "giggity" and "he's a winner" too much, kills quarterbacks...And regularly beats the team that makes these claims.
That's all for now. Until next time, keep on hatin', and drink that haterade.
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